Kicking and Screaming into the 21st CenturyPosted: August 30, 2009
Rick and I just got Blackberries. We’re not exactly early adapters when it comes to new technology. Unfortunately my phone was so old the woman couldn’t even extract my phone numbers to automatically transfer them. “Oh, that’s fine,” I told her, blithely. “I’ll just enter them by hand. I don’t have that many.”
That was eight hours ago. I’m now blind, have a headache, and still haven’t entered everyone. The damn keys are so tiny I can hardly see them, even with my reading glasses on.
I can type about 100 wpm, but I spent ten minutes searching for the “B” key. I was convinced they’d left off the “B” key. Is this something I didn’t hear about? Did everyone get together and decide we no longer need “B?” Did I get a defective Blackberry? Where the hell is the “B” key!!! Oh – there it is. Okay.
I finally entered my dear friend “b*ar!*3a – I don’t need her last name because it’s too long, and who cares where she lives, I’m never going to visit her or send her a card. Damn, her e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org. You know what, I’ll just call her from now on. No more e-mails for b*ar!*3a.
And apparently my good friend KAren lives at “wr36 1/2 Smith rd in the city of “* in 9*. For the love of God why do many addresses in Los Angeles have “1/2” or “1/4” in them? Forget it. I’m not entering any more addresses.
I’ve decided I have far too many friends. Anyone who I haven’t called in the last three months – they’re not getting entered. And I don’t really need to put in all those doctors and dentists. I’ll just call 911 the next time I’m sick.
I’m exhausted and starving. I’d call out for pizza but I’ve been stabbing at it for the last five minutes trying to make a phone call. Does this thing even make phone calls or did everyone get together and decide we no longer need to do that, either? I’ve really got to learn how to text.
I think I’m done now. The only other thing I have to do is inform my husband we’ll be celebrating his birthday on August 30 from now on, because that’s what the Blackberry says, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how to change it. Happy birthday, honey!