Spoiler Alert – Twist Endings for Movies I Do Not Intend To See

There are certain movies that I will never see – not in a movie theater, not even as a rental. But still, despite this – and perhaps because of this, I want to know how they end. Especially when the trailer promises “Shocking ending you’ll never see coming!” They’re right. Since I’ll never see it, there’s no way I’ll see it coming. But I’m still curious.

For instance – there’s a film out now called ORPHAN. A creepy bad-seed type of kid apparently goes around killing people – the trailer hints at a dark past for the child and teases “Can you guess the ending?” I think I can. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the secret twist of this movie is – the new parents discover the child has nothing but Miley Cyrus on her iPod. The horror! Once they remove this evil influence, the little girl turns out to be quite sweet indeed and they all get along just fine. Happy “twist” ending!

Another recent film that I will not see or rent is called A PERFECT GETAWAY. In this one, a newly married couple go on their honeymoon in the beautiful, isolated wilds of Hawaii, meet up with two other couples, and then bodies start appearing. Who among them is the killer? Can you guess the twist ending? Yes. I believe I can. I predict that the twist ending to this movie is – William Shatner is revealed to be the killer! He’s angry because none of the couples booked on Priceline.com, and in this economy, that’s just wasteful. Twist ending – he teaches them all a valuable fiscal lesson.

Good job, Hollywood! Great twist endings for these movies I do not ever intend to see!


4 Comments on “Spoiler Alert – Twist Endings for Movies I Do Not Intend To See”

  1. Imogen says:

    Doll – you really should be writing the movies – I may see these horror flicks then – but until then – not going!

  2. Braja says:

    I vote for William Shatner too.

  3. Kelli says:

    William Shatner could duet with Miley Cyrus… the sequel… the horror!

  4. WendyB says:

    I would go see the movies if they were really like this. I think they are vastly improved by your suggestions.

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