If Sarah Palin Had Resigned as Governor of California

Sarah Palin’s resignation speech as Governor of Alaska:

“And getting up here, I say it is the best road trip in America, soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice-fogged frigid beauty. The cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime, such extreme summertime, about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska, that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future.”

How different it would have been if Sarah Palin had resigned as the Governor of California!

And getting up here, I say it is the worst road trip in America, crawling along nature’s freak show. The Hollywood sign, the great tourist attraction, baking under the LA sun. And then the extremes. In Beverly Hills it’s the Rolls Royce that is competing with the view of shopping-rich Rodeo Drive. The wealth though, doesn’t it split the movie stars from the wanna-bes? And then on the east side, such extreme lifestyles, about a hundred and fifty degrees hipper than the valley, than some neighborhoods not far from here, with forty-something hipsters Blue-toothing along the freeways and merciless drivers that are rushing and cutting you off and reminding us that here, wealth and beauty wins. It is as throughout all Los Angeles, that big wild party life teeming along the road that is naught, for sure.

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2 Comments on “If Sarah Palin Had Resigned as Governor of California”

  1. deja pseu says:

    Oh, excellent rewrite! Brilliant!

    Did you see William Shatner doing this speech as Beat poetry on Conan O’Brien? Inspired. (You can find it on Hulu; NBC keeps pulling the ones posted on YouTube.)

  2. Tara Zucker says:

    Deja Pseu – I love the William Shatner beat version! Have you ever heard his rendition of Mr. Tambourine Man? It’s … something.


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