Job Search – Vulnerability Analyst

Each day, Monster.com sends me a list of jobs they think I would be perfect for. Usually they are very wrong. This time they may be right. The position is at a company called Symantec, and they describe themselves as “a global leader in providing security, storage and systems management solutions …”

Dear Symantec Hiring Manager:

I am responding to your recent posting for the position of “Vulnerability Analyst.” I believe I am a perfect candidate for this position.

What is vulnerability? The dictionary defines “vulnerable” as :

1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage : assailable
3 : liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge

I do not play bridge, and I assume such activity would be frowned upon on the job, so I will leave the third definition aside for now. But let me tell you why I feel I would be an asset in this position, based on definitions one and two.

I have vast, personal experience in the area of vulnerability. In fact, as I write this very letter, I am feeling incredibly vulnerable. A few days ago my sixteen year old cat Blanche passed away. I loved her very much. There are many people who do not feel this kind of love for animals. They view them as a lesser life form, not worth investing emotion in, and choose not to allow themselves to risk being vulnerable to kitty love. And there are also others who do not realize they are making a decision, and they let their heart carry them into such a relationship, thereby exposing themselves unwittingly to vulnerability. Your company is seeking an employee who can make informed analysis about all these situations. My past experience, as well as my current grief for my cat, make me an excellent choice for this position.

The second definition of “vulnerable” speaks about being open to attack or damage. When I say I loved my cat and miss her, I realize this puts me in such a position. I know that some people may look upon this as a weakness, a stupid display of misplaced emotion. Logically we know that our pets have a shorter lifespan than us, and yet we agree to take them in, to care for them, to open our hearts to them, and ultimately, to lose them. We know that we will be heartbroken by their passing, yet we still allow ourselves to be open to such damage.

It is worth noting at this point that, based on my extensive experience, I believe vulnerability is not the same as risk. For instance, today I am wearing white pants, and I chose to reheat leftover spaghetti with red sauce for lunch. I knew I was risking hard-to-remove stains on my white pants, and I can confirm that ultimately, this was not a wise decision. But it did not rise to the level of vulnerability, which by definition includes an emotional element. I do not grieve the stain on my pants in the same way I grieve the loss of my cat. Are these the types of analyses you are seeking? If so, I think you will agree that I would be a valuable addition to your team.

In your search for a Vulnerability Analyst, you are seeking someone who can look at the pros and cons of each individual situation and advise, with some accuracy, whether a particular one warrants being vulnerable or not. For instance – will I get another cat? Yes. I will. But not now. I still need to heal and grieve Blanche. But certainly, in deliberating this particular situation, it is clear to me that sixteen years of love and affection and head rubs and cuteness are well worth the pain I am feeling now. I know this pain will subside, and I will ultimately be left with good memories. The decision to enter into another relationship with another cat will result in more affection and head rubs. That is a situation where allowing myself to again be vulnerable will, I believe, yield a result that definitely tips to the positive side.

This is exactly the same kind of sharp decision making I would bring to my role as Vulnerability Analyst for your company. As such, I feel I would be a great asset to Symantec.

I am taking a few days to gather myself and let myself grieve my loss of Blanche, but I would love to discuss the position further. I look forward to hearing from you.

Please let me know if you have any trouble opening the attached resume.

Sincerely,
Tara

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7 Comments on “Job Search – Vulnerability Analyst”

  1. […] think I would be perfect for. This time they may be right Read more from the original source:  Job Search – Vulnerability Analyst « Doll Cannot Fly Share and […]

  2. Imogen says:

    Wow – great application – I’m sure the tech heads at Symantec will be all over you Tara! Man you’ll spot a hole in a firewall like THAT!

    I should apply too – or maybe I’m stupid – up to my 4th dog (have two at the moment, have buried 2).

    I love that you can turn your love of Blanche into a killer job application.

  3. It is amazing how perfect you are for this job. I am particularly impressed at your resiliency and your analysis of your own vulnerability in this application. I think you might also want to apply for the Risk Manager position. You would also be perfect for that job.

    I know that the loss of Monsieur Inkey has made me a different pet parent to Lily than I would have been. Your analysis is, I think, universal.

  4. Niels says:

    Great application, im really impressed!

  5. Guenevere says:

    You might be amused by this, it has a similar tone:

    http://www.asofterworld.com/oqindex.php

  6. Tara Zucker says:

    Thanks, Guen. I imagine you’ll be facing the whole world of cover letters and job seeking soon enough.

    • Guenevere says:

      Too soon! I’m due to graduate with a BA in Useless (um, that is, in English with a Political Science minor) in May 2010.


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