Why I Need To Stop Shopping On The Internet

I am re purposing this previous post, because if you can’t steal from yourself, what kind of country are we living in?

This story is completely true.

I recently ordered a necklace online from Ann Taylor. It arrived yesterday. With a little card. Which was strange, because I don’t usually send myself a gift card when I order something for myself, although now that I think of it, I totally will, because why not? (“Hey you! You totally deserve this! Love, Yourself”) The gift card read as follows:

    “Happy Birthday Presh! I can’t wait for you and JG to visit. I love you so much.
    Love, Boo-Boo Kitty.”

Well. Okay then. My first assumption was that the customer service department at Ann Taylor was having a slow afternoon and decided to get a little creative. But then I thought, what if it was actually a real card? What if someone in shipping had just mixed up the orders. Two boxes, exactly the same, only one gets a card and other doesn’t. Except they put the card in the wrong box – mine.

Maybe it really was Presh’s birthday. (Happy birthday, Presh!) Maybe Boo-Boo Kitty actually had sent the necklace as a gift. (Nice taste, Boo-Boo.) I hope JG likes the way it looks on Presh, not that Presh NEEDS JG’s approval or anything. They don’t have that kind of relationship. They’re totally cool, and JG really likes Boo-Boo Kitty too, so it’s all good. I imagined Presh wearing the necklace out to drinks with JG, and they meet up with some friends and have a really good time. They even hoist a round to the absent (yet generous) Boo-Boo Kitty (a fact they don’t know since they NEVER GOT THE CARD.) They’re probably really nice people. Or possibly video game avatars. I guess I’ll never really know.

If it all turns out to be some kind of viral marketing campaign cooked up by a clever writer, with these characters taking on lives of their own and ordering snappy outfits from Ann Taylor in order to get us all to shop more, I’m going to be a little bummed. Because I totally want that job.

Unless there really is a real Presh and JG and Boo-Boo Kitty. In which case, Presh and I should coordinate so we don’t both wear the necklace on the same day.


3 Comments on “Why I Need To Stop Shopping On The Internet”

  1. Imogen says:

    I once (in the old days of film cameras) went to pick up a roll of film that I’d had developed, and recognized not one person in the roll of film, yet they were adamant that that was the roll I’d dropped off.

    Very strange.

  2. I think you got my necklace. Don’t tell anyone but I am Boo-Boo.;-)
    Ann Taylor never sends me lovely notes. Funny!

  3. Tara Zucker says:

    Imogen – Too funny! I wonder if they got your photos?

    I remember that feeling of picking up a packet of just-developed photos and rushing outside and immediately opening the envelope and looking through the pictures, remembering whatever particular event it was. Nowadays it seems we record everything at the same time we’re living it. I wonder if it takes us away from being in the moment?

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