Internet Headline of the Day

It’s a tie:

“Robbers in Israel steal chocolate spread”  

or

“Boy George denies imprisoning Norwegian man at his home” 

Thank you, Yahoo news.

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A Fun Writing Game That Is Also Fashionable

Here’s a really fun game for writers that you play with your shoes!

First, you have to imagine a little story. (This story is one I totally made up, just so you don’t think this actually happened to me or anything.) Okay, imagine that you have two pairs of shoes that look almost exactly alike, except that they are slightly different. For example, let’s pretend that you have two pairs of black boots with the same heel height, except one pair has (let’s just say) a buckle and the other pair is (I’m just imagining) a more nubby leather. Other than that they are very, very similar. (And again, I’m just making up these details. You can have fun making details for up your own similar yet different shoes.)

Then let’s pretend that you are getting dressed very early in the morning and you don’t want to wake up your husband who is busy sleeping so you get dressed with only a very dim light on.

And then we will pretend (because I am still just making this up) that you walk around ALL DAY, meeting with people, going to lots of different places, doing many things. Isn’t this a fun game?

And then – and here’s the REALLY fun part – let’s pretend you get home at night after walking around for a WHOLE DAY and you start to take your boots off and then, and only then – AFTER AN ENTIRE DAY of walking around and being seen by MANY MANY people – do you notice that you are wearing TWO DIFFERENT BOOTS! And you never even realized it ALL DAY!

So now, the next fun part comes when you start to imagine all the various people who noticed that you were wearing two completely different yet somewhat similar boots. You can think up lots and lots of people you interacted with, all day long. Maybe some of the people are really important and even might be thinking of hiring you! Challenge yourself to really raise the stakes here, because that is what will make your writing come alive.

And then you can make a funny little list of all the things that they might have been thinking! Things like “What’s her deal?” and “Did she get dressed in the dark?” On the list, you can also write down what they might have been feeling. Were they amused? Did they pity you? You can imagine all sorts of fun reactions by the people who saw your two different boots!

And then, another really fun part of the game, and where more of the fun writing part comes in, is to now come up with another list of words to describe how you feel. Words like “idiot” and “loser” and “idiotic loser.” I’m sure you can think up many more wonderful and fun descriptive words for this totally made-up game!

Of course, this would not be so much fun if it actually happened in real life, which it totally did not. Happen. To me. Not at all.


Why Daniel Day-Lewis Should Win The Oscar

Before I saw the movie THERE WILL BE BLOOD, I saw a commercial for it, where Daniel Day-Lewis said the line “I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!”

I couldn’t imagine what this line meant. The line seemed absurd. The word “milkshake” is such a sweet, innocent word. It brings to mind a couple of teens hanging out at the corner diner, maybe sharing a straw and a vanilla shake. From the little I knew of the movie, my sense was that Day-Lewis played a very dark character and probably would not be hanging out at any corner diners sharing a straw with anyone.

When I actually saw the movie, and the line came up – almost at the end – I was blown away by it, and by Day-Lewis’ delivery of it. It was the most disturbing use of the word milkshake I could ever imagine. And it was perfect. This was a man with such darkness inside him, and his use of that word made him very disturbing and very real.

And that is why Daniel Day-Lewis should win the Academy award. Because if an actor can take such a ridiculous line and make it work, well, that’s the stuff of Oscar.

So here’s a toast to Daniel Day-Lewis. I drink to you! I drink it up!


Fenestration

I’ve been dealing with a “situation” lately, and while I can’t go into specifics, I can say that it has to do with career and it’s one of those times when you have to take a long hard look at your choices and examine your life and make a Big Decision.

Boy, do I hate that.

Do you know that old saying “When God closes a door, He opens a window?”

Well, it’s sort of ticking me off. Does God really want me jumping out the window right now? Because that just seems so dramatic. I mean, I totally will. You know – for God and all. It’s just that I tend to not be that athletic, so I’m thinking the landing is going to not be an enjoyable thing. I might break something is what I’m thinking.  (NOTE TO SELF:  CHECK HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY REGARDING EMERGENCY CARE)

I don’t see why He can’t just make another door. When we renovated our house we hired a contractor who moved the bathroom door over about five feet, and it worked out really well. I’m thinking God could make a new door with His eyes closed.

Or – why can’t He just keep the door closed for a while, and be like “Okay, you stay in there and think about this situation.” And then, later, He can open the door and I can be like, “Wow, now that I’ve had a few hours to think about things I know what to do!”

Listen, if God wants me to jump out the window I’ll jump.  But what happens after that?  Most of what I know about jumping out of widows comes from cop shows like THE SHIELD. On that show people are constantly jumping out of windows and running away from Vic and the other members of the Strike Team.  Does God want me to run like that? Wildly, through narrow alleys, jumping over backyard fences, dodging snarly dogs with the PoPo* after me? And what if I do hurt myself from the fall? How can I run away with a broken leg? And while I’m running, or limping away, am I supposed to be making this Big Decision? This just does not seem like a good plan.

But whatever. Who am I to tell God how to do things? 

I’ll let you know how it all works out.

 * PoPo = the police.


Amen!

letter to God


Last Week: Menu

DINNER

Monday:  Chicken piccata made with free range chicken breasts

Tuesday:  Beef stew with fresh vegetables and organic beef broth

Wednesday:  Gambos a pil pil (sizzling shrimp with garlic & Hungarian paprika)

Thursday:  Cold cereal in front of the TV

Guess which night Rick had a business event and I was home alone for dinner?


It’s Like My Whole Life’s Waiting For Me

Acceptance. Fifth in a five-part series of videos we made for The Breakup Chronicles.

I wanted to show the true joy that comes from going on that long, painful journey. There are no shortcuts. You really have to live through each stage, and you can’t move forward until you take that journey. But there is such a great reward at the end – such knowledge and understanding and peace.

Tell your story at BreakupChronicles.com