How To Make A Creative Decision

1. Follow your instinct and go with what your gut tells you.

2. Review your project. Decide that you are pleased. And that you are talented. And that you are under-appreciated and wasting your time and abilities, and wonder when you will receive the recognition for which you are long overdue, and the attendant money and fame, although the fame – eh, you could live without it, but the money would be nice.

3. Go get a snack. Chocolate? Something salty? Something crunchy? Hmmm. This is hard. Why must everything in life be a choice? Why can’t you just have an assistant who picks out your snacks, freeing you to concentrate on the really important creative decisions?

4. Return to your work and review your project again.

5. Decide that you hate it and it’s all wrong. Start to panic because you are untalented and obviously fooling yourself. Feel worthless and convinced that you will never succeed at anything, obviously, and “they” must be right because you have not, in fact, become rich and famous.

6. Start fiddling with your project. Reverse some choices. Replace something with something else. Decide the new version is SO much better.

7. Review new version. Decide you hate it. Become depressed because you don’t know what is wrong.

8. Stare at the thing that must be changed that you have no idea how to change. Feel the will to live slowly draining from your body.

9. Change something. Decide this is an improvement. Change it a little bit more. Begin to feel happy.

10. Review your new version. Ask the cat if it works. Decide that it works. 

11. Feel relief that the new version works.

12. Realize that the new version is almost exactly the same as the original version before you panicked and made changes.

13. Feel relieved but confused and a little angry at yourself. Vow to always trust your first instinct. Also vow to never become the type of person who makes their assistant run out to Starbucks, even though it sure would be nice to have a vanilla latte or something right now.

14. Tell your partner “It’s done.” Ask partner what he thinks, knowing that you will not listen, because the only person you should listen to is yourself. Except if partner has a good idea, because sometimes he really does, and you are a big enough person to realize that.

15. Go to lunch.


2 Comments on “How To Make A Creative Decision”

  1. Rick Sanchez says:

    When asking the partner’s opinion, nod a lot and look sincere. Push many buttons and move the mouse around a lot. Give partner something “important” to do, like reading a tech manual or the latest dirt about some celebrity, make more keystroke clicking sounds and say “DONE”!!!! Partner will believe changes have been made and feel important.

  2. But what if you don’t own a cat? I’ve been stuck on step ten for over a year now. I’d get a cat, but I’ve been using the same system to decide which cat to get and since I can’t get past step ten, I don’t have a cat either.

    PS–I’m a registered voter. Have fun sleeping tonight.

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