I’m writing about paint colors on my other blog, RANDOM ACTS OF HOME DECOR, where I’m talking about painting my bedroom a color called “MILKWEED,” from Dunn Edwards.

Except that I’ve just finished watching all three previous seasons of Showtime’s WEEDS, so of course, all I can think of is that I’ve painted all the rooms in my house a lovely shade of MILFWEED. Anyone who watches WEEDS will understand.

I liked the first two seasons of WEEDS, but I felt the third season got very dark. I realize that Nancy Botwin is one of these new types of characters, a la Tony Soprano, the family-man gangster from THE SOPRANOS or Bill Henrickson, the business-man polygamist from BIG LOVE, or Dexter, the serial killer from eponymous DEXTER. We’re supposed to like these characters despite their, um, alternate lifestyle choices. And for the most part, I do.

I loved THE SOPRANOS. I never for one moment forgot that Tony was a killer, but I enjoyed watching him maneuver through life. He was who he was, and even though he struggled with understanding parts of himself, he pretty much knew who he was and owned his choices. The writing and acting on that show was amazing and multi-layered. I watched other members of the family go from self-denial to acceptance, from innocence to denial, and I always enjoyed the journeys.

For me, BIG LOVE is slightly less successful, but I’m not sure why. Killing people is surely a more heinous crime than being married to two different people at the same time, yet the latter is almost harder for me to accept. I always feel the children in that show are unwitting participants in a lifestyle they have no control over. I guess that’s real - a lot of people are trapped in situations they can’t control - but I find it hard to root for the lead characters in that show. It’s interesting, and it makes me think, and it makes me uncomfortable, so I suppose that’s good drama. I watch BIG LOVE, but I can’t say I really like the Henricksons. I’ll be interested to see where that show goes from here.

I love DEXTER. Yes, he’s a serial killer, but come on - he only kills BAD people. People who deserve it. And he’s very, very good at it. Dexter knows exactly who he is, and why he does what he does. He has a very strict code that he lives by, and he’s just trying to have a normal life. Of course, I haven’t seen the second season yet (it comes out on DVD in August), so I will be interested to see where they took in the second season.

I really enjoy complicated characters, like Vic Mackey of THE SHIELD. He’s another flawed character who clearly makes some very “wrong” choices, morally, but it’s fascinating to watch him struggle with them. He knows when he’s making a “bad” decision, and he owns it. He is being forced to deal square on with the consequences of his past actions, and I can’t wait to see how they wrap up the series in this last season.

As far as WEEDS goes, I’m not sure I really like Nancy, the suburban pot mom. The first two seasons were interesting, in the exploration of what’s underneath all that “normality” of suburbia. A recent widow, you felt that Nancy was just trying to keep her family afloat. Selling a little weed was not a horrible thing. She was paying the mortgage, no one got hurt. She was kind of goofy and charming. But as she got more and more involved in the drug culture, the character started to change. She started to become a gangsta. I didn’t like her as much. She didn’t seem to really struggle with whether her choices were wrong and bad for her family. She seemed to just fall into the lifestyle of drug dealer. She would say she was conflicted, but I never felt she searched for any options. For a white, educated, clearly intelligent and resourceful woman, it’s hard to believe that dealing drugs is the best alternative for her and her family. At the start of the third season Nancy started to embrace her dark side, which at least was a decision, good or bad, and that always makes for better drama. I don’t look to television shows to give me answers to life. The best shows simply present questions and possibilities and various directions. All of these characters are interesting, and we tune into these kinds of shows to see how people live different lives and make different choices that are not necessarily within the confines of the norm.

I think my problem with Nancy has been that I haven’t seen much thought from her. She has seemed to drift from situation to situation, feeling a little angst here, a little frustration there, but for the most part, she hasn’t really taken much of a stand, except to plunge deeper into drug trafficking, which she then seems to lament being involved with. I’m a bit confused by her character, and I’m eager to see where the show goes from here.

Last night was the premiere of this season’s SAVING GRACE, another fascinating, flawed character played by the amazing Holly Hunter. Interesting characters, good writing, fast pacing, SAVING GRACE is just what I don’t need - another show to be addicted to. I am so there!

Do you love to decorate? Are you a slave to HGTV? Are you slightly color blind?

If that’s you, you might enjoy my new blog. As a wannabe decorating diva myself, I’m taking on Gen HGTV, and I intend to leave no throw pillow unturned in the war against white walls and clashing colors.

RANDOM ACTS OF HOME DECOR looks at decorating and home design for the decor-challenged. I will also be contributing articles to The Savvy Gal website.

It’s been two months since I was laid off from my office job.

Less income? Unfortunately, yes. Loss of health benefits? Absolutely. But the real ramifications are just now starting to become clear. It is a sad, bitter tale.

I longer have my daily Starbucks latte.

And Lordy - how I loved my daily Starbucks latte.

I was a double tall non-fat. Back in the good old days, when I could afford it. When I had a job. It was my little indulgence. It was what got me going at 7:00 a.m., when my shift started. The Baristas all knew my name, they knew my drink. I was part of the Great American Starbucks Society, one of a long line of sleepy-eyed caffeine cravers.

These days I am home-brewed. Oh, it’s fine. I suppose. I get the beans at Starbucks - the dark Italian roast - but it’s … just not the same. It’s not a latte. The old Braun coffee maker spits out a fairly decent brew. It’s a simple, honest cup of joe. It’s what the unemployed drink. No shame in that. Good enough for scouring the on-line job listings, purposely not clicking on the shoe sales and “summer must-haves” at Banana Republic. When you’re unemployed, you don’t get to buy new clothes. You don’t get to spend money. You don’t get Starbucks. You sit in front of the computer and send out resumes and dream of a day, long ago, when you were so carefree. You laughed, and enjoyed life. You carelessly drank a latte, never even thinking of the nectar flowing down your throat.

But that was then. Two months ago. A lifetime ago.

Yay! The protest song is back! Or boo, depending on how you feel about the common folk expressing their opinions.

After years of near-silence, the art form known as the protest song has returned. On YouTube, and all across this great internet, the voice of the people is once again rising up to be heard.

But there’s a twist. These ain’t your hippie grandpa’s protest songs.

The new protest songs have taken on a decidedly modern beat, and the tracks coming from today’s artists are slammin’, yo! Although many point to John Meyer’s recent “Where Have All The Protest Songs Gone?” as today’s seminal rallying cry, insiders agree that Kanye West’s “Protest This M***********R” introduced a whole new generation to the art of songs that complain about stuff.

West, as well as fellow artists RedicKuLos and BoB(ee)90210, have taken the protest song of yore and knocked it upside the head, infusing it with relevance and a driving dance beat. Which, as it turns out, is quite an enjoyable combination. Says RedicKuLos “I don’t care how important your message is. If the fans can’t get they groove on, they ain’t gonna play that shit.”

But not everyone embraces the return of the protest song. Bono, of U2 fame, decries the current commercialization of the modern protest song. “A song, in order to be relevant and mean something, has to say something relevant. Its relevance can only be revealed in its meaning, and if the meaning is not readily apparent, the message is reduced to flaccid overwrought self-importance and pomposity.”

Sting, another long-time soldier in the fight against things, concurred: “What Bono said.”

In support, a coalition of musicians called SWAPS (Spoken Word Against Protest Songs) has planned “The Event Protesting Protest Songs” for summer, 2008. No songs will be performed to protest the protest song, but they will instead read poetry and present interpretive dance. To date, ticket sales have been sluggish.

Whether you agree that the protest song is still valid in 2008, or you think it should just go away, it’s hard to ignore the facts. People are fed up, and there are lots of issues. And historically, that’s a potent combination for the protest song.

Since everything is about marketing these days, I have decided to go proactive and launch an aggressive campaign targeting consumer perception regarding my current situation. As a result, I am no longer unemployed. I am semi-retired.

There are several immediate benefits to this type of marketing strategy.

As a semi-retired person, I can choose to come out of retirement at any time. This is also known as “making a come back.” [See: Travolta, Britney, the two Coreys.] This is also known as “getting a job.” The subtle change in perception is that, being semi-retired, I am in charge. Which as anyone who believes in having a positive attitude will say is an essential way to look at things, and not at all delusional or a self-defense mechanism against the feeling that I am powerless and falling into the huge dark abyss of despair. Which is something that an unemployed person with a tendency toward cynicism, such as myself, might possibly feel.

So. Semi-retired it is.

As a semi-retired person, I can engage in leisure activities without guilt. For instance, I could totally go golfing every morning. Being an unemployed person, such behavior might viewed as irresponsible, since I should be looking for work every single moment of every single day. But when you are semi-retired, you are expected to golf. It might even be in the rules. I might be required to learn how to golf now, except -

As a semi-retired person, I am also allowed to be a little crotchety and “difficult,” so if I don’t want to learn to golf I don’t have to, because what is this, the Army? and when you’ve lived as long as I have you deserve to have a little peace in your life and I’ll do whatever I want with my own damn time now leave me alone my stories come on in five minutes. If I was unemployed, sitting around watching daytime TV might be considered slothful and indulgent but since I’m semi-retired, I’ve earned it.

Because, as a semi-retired person, I am afforded a sort of respect which an unemployed person is not. Semi-retirement suggests a willing withdrawal from accomplishment, while unemployment suggests bad luck. Much better to be perceived as someone who got in, did what they had to do, and got out early rather than “last hired first fired.”

So, for all these reasons I am now officially “semi-retired.” There are probably other and perhaps better reasons. However, now that I’m semi-retired I can totally take my own damn time figuring stuff out.

Semi-retirement. Rebranding at it’s best!

I met two different friends at two different coffee shops.
Which cafe provided the better experience? You decide:

Option #1 - CAFE AT THE VISTA
Location: Los Feliz/Silver Lake - young, hip, artsy area on the East side of LA.
Size: Tiny. About 7 tables inside, maybe 3 tables outside.
Decor: New, modern, slightly architectural.
In the Cup: Strong. Good flavor. Really strong. Nice foam. Is this a triple? Because I asked for a double but it’s fine because I’m totally into the triple if this is a triple and if it’s a double that’s some really good beans you got there cause I like it strong and my friend should be here any minute now and I might have to get another coffee when she comes because she’ll probably order something and I don’t want to be sitting here not drinking if she’s drinking because that just feels so rude and I usually take a double but this totally feels like a triple not that I’m complaining because I know you charged me for a double but I probably shouldn’t get another double although I totally like this and it’s really good and strong and oh look here she is and actually I think I’m good for now but thanks.
Clientèle: Two tables pulled together at the front with small group having a production meeting for an indie film. Single hip young woman with computer doing some sort of research. Cool 30-something woman with computer writing script. Single 20’s cute guy rocking the sweater vest/bowling shirt combo and knitting.
SPECIAL FEATURE: Did I mention the young guy knitting? KNITTING! (Is that the new pick-up line for Gen Y? “Wanna come to my place and look at my collection of scarf patterns?”)

OPTION #2 - COFFEE BEAN AND TEA LEAF
Location: Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood. The Strip. The heart of Hollywood. A few blocks from the Viper Room, the Standard Hotel and the Chateau Marmont.
Size: Medium. Several bar stools at counters inside, nice size outdoor patio with heat lamps, umbrellas and a fire pit.
Decor: Corporate. Exactly like every other Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the world.
In the Cup: Good. Exactly like every other Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the world.
Clientèle: Hott young actresses with dogs in yoga pants. (The actresses were wearing the yoga pants. Not the dogs.) Sixty something “producer” in jogging suit with Bluetooth headset, steadily texting with one thumb. Hott young actors in jeans and white t-shirts discussing the biz. Schizophrenic homeless woman bumming cigarettes.
SPECIAL FEATURE: Valet parking. ONLY. (I parked waaaay up the hill and walked my cheap ass down to Sunset.)

This story is completely true.

I recently ordered a necklace from the Ann Taylor internet site. It arrived yesterday.

With a little card.

Which was strange, because I don’t usually send myself a gift card when I order something for myself, although now that I think of it, I totally will, because why not? (”Hey you! You totally deserve this! Enjoy! Love, You”)

The gift card read as follows:

“Happy Birthday Presh! I can’t wait for you and JG to visit. I love you so much.
Love, Boo-Boo Kitty.”

Well. Okay then.

My first thought was the customer service department at Ann Taylor was having a slow afternoon and decided to get a little creative. If so, I’d really like to work there.

But then I thought, what if someone in shipping had just mixed up two orders. Two necklaces, exactly the same, only one gets a card and other doesn’t. Except the card went with the wrong box.

Maybe it really was Presh’s birthday. (Happy birthday Presh!) Maybe Boo-Boo Kitty actually had sent the necklace as a gift. (Nice taste, Boo-Boo!) I hope JG likes the way it looks on Presh, not that Presh NEEDS JG’s approval or anything. They don’t have that kind of relationship. They’re totally cool, and JG really likes Boo-Boo Kitty too, so it’s all good. I imagined Presh wearing the necklace out to drinks with JG, and they meet up with some friends and have a really good time. They even hoist a round to the absent yet generous Boo-Boo Kitty. They’re probably really nice people. Or possibly video game avatars.

I guess I’ll never really know.

If it all turns out to be some kind of viral marketing campaign, with these characters taking on lives of their own and ordering snappy outfits from Ann Taylor, I’m going to be a little bummed, because I totally want that job.

Unless someone out there knows the real Presh or Boo-Boo Kitty or JG.

In which case, Presh and I should coordinate, so we don’t both wear the necklace on the same day.

Here’s how it works:

Get laid off. Husband, concerned about financial situation, decides to start taking lunch to work.

Husband makes delicious ham sandwich with quality brand cold cuts and swiss cheese and the good mustard we bought at the Honey Baked Ham store. (Sweet yet tangy.)

Unaccustomed to taking lunch to work, husband forgets and leaves sandwich on kitchen counter. Every day.

I score delicious ham sandwich for lunch! Booya!

Dear Universe:

Look, you know I love you and everything. I love your lessons, I love your sense of humor, I love your sly hints at a meaningful endgame.

But here’s the thing. I still gotta be ME. We both know that I am a slightly grouchy and ever-cynical New Yorker. This is not going to change. So please, can you stop with the uplifting already? Last night I was inundated by so much uplifting I had to grab the end of the sofa so as not to take flight.

First, it was IDOL GIVES BACK, with the images of the sweet African children who could be saved from Malaria for the cost of a couple of cups of Starbucks, and children right here in our very own country, who need books, medicine, homes. All so sad, but totally changeable, if everyone pitches in.

Uplifting!

Then it was ABC’s THE LAST LECTURE: A Love Story for Your Life, a story about Randy Pausch’s indomitable will to enjoy life, despite having only months to live. Pausch talks about being honest in life and having fun and honoring childhood dreams. Sad, because he’s dying soon, but so inspirational because he’s living now.

More lifting in the direction of up!

Then it was a story on Nightline about Young @ Heart, the chorus made up of members all over the age of 70 who sing rock and roll songs. The age of the singers adds a startling element of compassion to angry lyrics about wasted lives and angst. Touching and ultimately life affirming.

So so uplifing!

I woke up this morning in a fog of uplift.

Are you trying to change me, Universe? Because I thought we had an understanding. I need to get back to wallowing in self pity because I was laid off from my job. I need to get back to obsessing about myself and my own relatively comfortable life (What Will Happen To ME???)

Geez. If I want to be uplifted I’ll go get a triple shot latte.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to run. I’m hosting a pity party for one, and I have hors d’oeuvres to make.

Love, Tara

Television has the power to change lives.

Watching the first man walk on the moon, watching the wall come down in Berlin - those were pretty good. But TV has recently touched my life in a much more important way. It has helped me look for a job.

I was laid off two weeks ago, and it’s been depressing. Looking at the staggering unemployment statistics, looking at my not so staggering resume, wondering how I’m going to find a job.

I was watching the show MEDIUM a few days before the cruel BLO (Big Lay Off). I like this show a lot. Patricia Arquette (love her) stars as Allison Dubois, a woman who solves crimes through her dreams, which reveal information about dead people who have met some sort of untimely demise. [SPECIAL NOTE: Dear Medium show - although I truly love your show, I do have one tiny complaint. Every week Allison solves crimes through her dreams. And every week, when she has a dream, the people around her, usually her husband, spend the first two acts telling her the dream probably doesn't mean anything and she should forget about it. This is getting tiresome. When you establish that a character has a talent, please don't waste the audience's time creating false conflict by denying that talent is valid. Allison is always right. Every week. Work with it. Thank you. Signed, your loving fan.]

In the show, Jake Weber plays Allison’s ever-supportive husband Joe, an aerospace engineer who, this season, has been struggling with being out of work. In this particular episode, Joe went to his routine appointment at the unemployment bureau where he affirmed, yet again, that he was still out of work, and still looking for work. He was noticeably frustrated and angry, and was trying not to take it out on the man who was conducting the interview. At one point the man, very aware of this frustration, looked at Joe and said “Mr. Dubois, why are you waiting for someone to give you permission to earn a living?” This question/statement startled Joe, and you could see that it registered, in some way. Later in the show he came up with an idea for an invention that could potentially provide him with an income.

My own cruel BLO didn’t happen until several days after that episode aired, and for the first few days of unemployment I was in shock - angry, depressed, lost, confused (mostly because my normal Starbucks routine had been disrupted.) But yesterday I was looking at the umpteenth job board online, at a writer/producer job that seemed interesting. A job I knew I could do, to which I could contribute a lot, creatively. But I also knew that my resume wasn’t a “match.” I have all the real world skills and experience through the independent projects Rick and I have produced, but not the kind of experience “they” look for - no title, no big name company I’ve worked for. I don’t look good on paper.

Then suddenly, for some reason, I though of that line from Medium.

“Tara, why are you waiting for someone to give you permission to earn a living?”

I’ve basically been an independent producer for the last two years. Why not think of myself as the one in charge, not the one standing, hat in hand, begging “Please sir, may I have some more?” Why not believe in the work I’ve done for Post Haste? I’ve wrangled 60 drunk rock ‘n roll fans, coaxed a vulnerable performance from a comedic actor and edited 13 short videos on Final Cut, without any formal training. Not to toot my own horn, but why can’t I toot my own horn? Why do I need “them” to validate what I’ve done? Why am I letting “them” define what I can do?

In reality, I’m still going to have to ask someone to hire me. But somehow, one random line from a TV show made me stop and think about my situation in a different way. Somehow, that one random line has given me a little bit of courage.

And that’s why I say well done, Medium! Well done. Now if you’ll just listen to me about those story lines …